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The Paradox of Not Having the Answers

Sometimes, you will never get an answer. You will never know why certain things are happening or why they are happening to you. You search and search for reasons, trying to organize all the thoughts in your head. Your mind continues to spin until you feel you’ve found an answer. But there isn’t one. 

So you feel vulnerable.

When I’m vulnerable, I feel like the feelings I’ve thrown into the air swirl around madly until they’re caught. And if they’re never caught, I feel like this whirling dervish of emotions must be organized. I want to gather the tornado up and shove it back into the box of my mind so I am no longer exposed. 

The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is the part of our brain that determines what you notice and what you don’t notice. You notice what’s most important to you. 

Tony Robbins says, “If we don’t take control of our environment, it takes control of us”.

You feel out of control because you are. Control is an illusion. You are actively fighting against your environment.

“Life is competing with a blocked event for your attention” -Michael Singer from The Untethered Soul

You are limiting your life by continuing to hold on so tight. 

So this is when the answer becomes: Let go. 

And you don’t like that answer. Because it’s not easy. Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do. Especially when you feel as though you’re in a place where good things are being denied to you and you want tangible reasons as to why. 

In a previous post, I wrote about how to escape something that consumes your mind. I talked about five different ways to avoid losing yourself to a situation. In the midst of feeling so lost to your environment, take a moment to step outside of yourself. Consider the stress and anxiety you’re putting on your life by your internal struggle. Have empathy on your mind that is swirling and desperately grasping. 

And in letting go, remind yourself what you do have control over:

  • Your habits

  • Your gratitude

  • Your physique

  • Your network

  • Your work rate

  • Your attitude 

Let go and redirect your energy. 

AMUR: Evita Maxi Dress - shop on Tootsies and Verishop. FURLA: Mini Candy Bag - similar here. Marc Fisher: Mule Sandals.