Common Dating Misconception: You Wasted My Time!
I’ve seen memes floating around on Instagram stating things like:
“2020 is in 4 months, don’t let someone waste your time”.
This got me thinking. It seems like many times women (and men) make a lot of assumptions as to what the other person wants out of a relationship.
When it doesn’t work out, they become extremely angry about how that person “wasted their time”.
My question is, did you ever directly ask what that person was looking for in a relationship?
Go ahead and ask: What are you looking for?
When someone accuses another of wasting their time, they become a victim. I’ve seen women create a long narrative saying, “I’m so busy creating my own life so don’t waste my precious time". The reality is, if a guy is throwing out bait and you continue to catch it - then you are the one allowing them to waste your time. We can’t just sit here with our head held high, believing we are doing everything right - only to cut down a man that doesn’t even know what you want, because you never actually communicated it.
You might mention that he sent you mixed signals… but just because a man wants to hold your hand doesn’t mean he wants a long lasting relationship. Shocker huh? Instead of saying they’re mixed signals, maybe it’s just that you’re mind reading.
If you’re seeing someone and things pop up that don’t align with what you want, just be honest! If you’re really into saving time, and emotion for that matter, state that you don’t feel you’re on the same page and respectfully bow out.
I challenge you to think: Does dating people really waste your time?
Isn’t the whole point of dating to get to know someone? Now, I don’t know what it’s like to date someone for five years thinking it’s leading to marriage but then meet varying emotions when it ends. What I can say is, at a certain point in life, it’s up to you to address if your life values align with the other person. And if they don’t, it’s not the end of the world! Sure it might be a rough bandaid to pull off, but it will open you to other opportunities and closer to your end goal. Or in the meantime, just happier living your life on your own.
Until you decide what behavior you accept or reject, you will allow people to "waste" your time.